Imagine for a moment that you constantly feel the need to hide or downplay certain behaviors, thoughts, or emotions just to blend in. That’s what we call “masking” in the world of neurodivergence and ADHD.
If you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), or another form of neurodivergence, you may have noticed how challenging it can be to navigate a society that doesn’t always understand—or accommodate—the way you naturally communicate and behave. In this piece, we’ll talk about where masking comes from, the different ways it can show up, and how it influences your mental health, personal identity, and relationships.
What is Masking?
At its core, masking involves suppressing or altering natural behaviors to avoid standing out or being judged. Neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with ADHD and autism, may use masking to adapt to social situations, minimize conflicts, and avoid misunderstandings. Common behaviors that are “masked” include impulsive actions, repetitive movements (stimming), or even the topics they might be naturally drawn to discuss.
What Does Masking Look Like?
For people with ADHD, masking might look like suppressing their tendency to interrupt, fidget, or drift into unrelated topics during conversations. For those on the autism spectrum, it can involve making conscious eye contact, forcing themselves to mimic facial expressions, or rehearsing small talk to appear “neurotypical.”
The Roots of Masking
The need to mask often begins in childhood. Many neurodivergent individuals are taught to blend in with their peers to avoid negative attention or ridicule. Teachers, parents, and peers can unintentionally reinforce masking by discouraging “odd” behaviors, emphasizing conformity, or rewarding neurotypical behaviors, like sitting still and maintaining eye contact.
Social norms and expectations play a significant role in encouraging masking. Society often expects certain behaviors, especially in professional and educational settings, where uniformity and predictability are valued. Neurodivergent individuals may feel that displaying their authentic behaviors could lead to prejudice, exclusion, or misunderstanding, leading them to adopt a “mask” to fit in.
How Masking Manifests
Masking can manifest in many ways, depending on the individual’s neurodivergent traits. Some common masking behaviors include:
- Suppressing Stimming: Stimming (self-stimulating behaviors like tapping, rocking, or hand-flapping) helps many neurodivergent people manage sensory input and emotions. Suppressing stimming to avoid drawing attention is a frequent form of masking.
- Mimicking Neurotypical Behaviors: Many neurodivergent people closely observe others’ behaviors to imitate them. This could involve rehearsing socially appropriate responses, adopting specific gestures, or learning to use certain expressions to navigate conversations.
- Restricting Emotional Expression: Individuals with ADHD or autism may suppress emotional responses, appearing calm even when they feel overwhelmed. This is particularly common in professional settings where expressions of frustration or excitement may be viewed as “unprofessional.”
- Forcing Eye Contact: For some neurodivergent people, making eye contact can be uncomfortable or overwhelming. However, they may feel compelled to do so because it’s often seen as a social expectation, even though it may cause stress.
- Managing Hyperfocus and Impulsivity: For people with ADHD, masking might involve trying to suppress impulsive ideas or the urge to hyperfocus on topics of intense interest, as these can be misunderstood by others.
The Hidden Cost of Masking
Masking, while sometimes necessary for survival, can have long-term consequences on mental health, self-esteem, and personal identity.
Mental Health Impact
Masking requires a great deal of mental and emotional energy. The constant vigilance and self-censorship can lead to chronic stress, exhaustion, and “burnout.” Studies have shown that masking is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation in neurodivergent individuals. Over time, the cumulative mental toll can erode a person’s well-being, leading to more severe mental health challenges.
Loss of Identity
Masking can blur the lines between an individual’s true self and the persona they present to the world. This may lead to a loss of identity, where individuals struggle to discern who they are apart from the mask they wear. For some neurodivergent people, masking becomes so ingrained that they lose touch with their natural behaviors, leading to feelings of inauthenticity and self-doubt.
Strain on Relationships
Relationships can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent individuals who mask. Friends, family members, or partners may only know the “masked” version of the person, creating a sense of distance and misunderstanding. If a neurodivergent person eventually reveals their true self, loved ones may struggle to adjust, leading to confusion or even rejection.
Why People Mask Despite the Challenges
The social rewards of masking, such as acceptance, job security, or reduced discrimination, can make it feel necessary. For some, the benefits—like avoiding bullying, maintaining employment, or fitting in socially—outweigh the mental and emotional strain of masking. However, it’s important to acknowledge that masking isn’t a permanent solution, as it doesn’t address the root issue: society’s limited understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent behaviors.
Moving Towards Acceptance and Support
A supportive environment can help reduce the need for masking, allowing neurodivergent people to express themselves more authentically. This change can be fostered by increasing public awareness of neurodivergent conditions and creating environments that accommodate diverse ways of thinking and behaving.
Workplace Adjustments
Employers can take steps to create a neurodiversity-friendly workplace. Flexible policies that allow for varied communication styles, breaks, or accommodations for sensory sensitivities can make a significant difference. Some companies now offer neurodiversity training, helping colleagues understand and embrace the unique strengths neurodivergent employees bring.
Educational Support
Teachers and school staff play a crucial role in reducing masking in young neurodivergent students. Educators who are trained to recognize and support neurodivergent behaviors can create an inclusive environment where students feel safe being themselves. Schools can also implement individualized support plans to meet the unique needs of each student.
Social and Community Awareness
Greater awareness in society can reduce the stigma surrounding neurodivergent behaviors. Understanding that traits like impulsivity, stimming, or a lack of eye contact are natural expressions for some people can encourage acceptance and reduce the pressure to mask.
Embracing Authenticity
For many neurodivergent people, unmasking—gradually letting go of the need to conceal their natural behaviors—is an empowering process. It allows them to live more authentically and experience life with less stress and anxiety. This process often requires finding supportive communities and environments where they feel safe to express themselves fully.
A Movement Towards Better Understanding
In recent years, many neurodivergent individuals have embraced the concept of neurodiversity, which recognizes that diverse ways of thinking and behaving are natural variations within the human population. Social movements that promote neurodiversity are helping create more inclusive spaces, allowing neurodivergent individuals to unmask and celebrate their true selves without fear.
Conclusion
Masking is a complex and often emotionally taxing experience for neurodivergent individuals, especially those with ADHD and autism. While it may provide temporary social benefits, the long-term impact on mental health, identity, and relationships can be profound. As society becomes more accepting of neurodivergent individuals, the need for masking may decrease, allowing these individuals to live more authentic and fulfilling lives. Embracing neurodiversity is a step toward creating a world where everyone can be their true selves, free from the pressure to mask their unique and valuable differences.
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