You’ve likely met him before — the guy who seems good on paper, perhaps even makes a splash when he enters a room, but the longer you’re with him, the more cracks you notice.
You’re blindsided at first; it’s little things you shrug off — an impolite comment to the waiter, constant negativity, or the fact that he always ducks out of the way and places the blame when something goes wrong. But soon, those red flags pile up and you realize: this isn’t just a bad day, and this is who he is.
According to the American Psychological Association, specific behaviors regularly signal bad romantic potential, and you’ll find these red flags in up to 85% of failed long-term relationships.
Here are the main signs to watch out for, along with what to do if you come into contact with a manipulative person. Personality versus charm.
He never admits when he’s wrong
Men who rarely take responsibility are more likely to have failed relationships. They are emotional and financial leeches who so frequently leave women to clean up the messes they did not make.
This irresponsibility is evident when they continually shift blame and refuse to admit their mistakes. Over time, it poisons trust and establishes a lopsided dynamic in which one partner assumes an unequal share of the burden.
He treats service workers poorly
The way he treats waitstaff, delivery drivers, or retail workers is how he will treat you as well. A survey by Snagajob- Black Box survey found that 62% of restaurant workers said they were emotionally abused or verbally harassed by a customer.
They relay to us that restaurant servers often notice tension in couples when one partner treats them condescendingly, and the polite partner apologizes for their partner’s behavior. This situation fosters an imbalance of power, which tends to deteriorate over time.
He’s financially irresponsible
Irresponsible men conceal debt, purchase things on a whim with money they don’t have, or expect their partners to pay for their lifestyle choices. A report by GoBankingRates / Nasdaq (May 2025) states that 28% of Americans confess to keeping big expenses or debt from their significant other.
This highlights the pervasive nature of financial secrecy within relationships. Irresponsibility with money causes stress that goes beyond finances, impacting trust, communication, and the ability to plan for the future.
He lacks empathy for others
Low-quality men lack empathy and generally do not relate to how other people are feeling and will reply with, “you’re being too sensitive” or “get over it” when their partners voice concerns. Statements such as these “canceling” remarks from men elicited more negative emotion than identical remarks from a woman.
Invalidating comments made by a man elicited stronger adverse emotional reactions than those made by a male, specifically in the absence of a rule, created emotional withdrawal and resentment. To these men, women are objects to be used, not emotionally connected to.
He’s not following through with his words and his actions
Words mean nothing, but inconsistent men love a grand statement and then fail to follow up. This kind of inconsistency can result in a lot of confusion and lack of trust, leading their partners to feel insecure and unclear about the grounds of the relationship.
Over time, this distance will erode emotional intimacy, leaving one feeling disconnected. It’s this pattern that creates cognitive dissonance in people, and partners are forced to go with the flow, which ultimately leads to lowered self-esteem and heightened anxiety.
He shows jealousy and possessiveness
Good relationships are built on trust and giving space, but abusive men like to control, and then come up with excuses like “love” and “security”. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that someone is constantly being stalked, harassed, or physically or sexually abused by an intimate partner, every minute of every day.
Abusive men will track their partners on social media, question friendships, and sow discord around normal socializing. Jealousy stems from insecurity and sometimes evolves from being a self-contained state to morph into another layer of control.
He disrespects boundaries
They always begin small, but over time, you can see deeper character issues that come from control of your emotions and state of mind. Pushy men have higher rates of both infidelity and emotional abuse in their relationships.
Transgressions might start with an unexpected visit, a push for more physical intimacy, or ignoring overt wishes
He’s not on good terms with family and friends
Emotionally unintelligent men often struggle in long, complex relationships, lacking effective conflict resolution and emotional intelligence within their families. A study by the University of Rochester revealed a connection between positive social relationships at age 30, such as close friendships, and well-being in adulthood.
Such men often burn through bridges, stand betrayed by former friends, and are constantly excluded by their own family. These patterns are indicative of how they’re likely to treat romantic partners when the going gets tough.
He is not self-aware
Research at the University of Rochester indicates that individuals with higher levels of identity resolution during emerging adulthood are more likely to have higher levels of intimacy, generativity, and integrity throughout adulthood.
These men often point to the outside world as the reason why they can’t succeed, don’t accept constructive criticism, and show no interest in improving themselves or their relationships. Instead of curiosity, they respond with defensiveness to criticism, thus precluding relationship growth.
He displays addictive behaviors
About 16.4 million adults ages 18 and older, which makes 12.9% of this age group, have had an alcohol addiction in the past year. Outside of drug abuse, other addictions to gambling, gaming, or po*nography have similar relationship effects involving hiding, promises made and broken, and resources wasted.
This leads to financial strife and emotional distance, as they fail to make effective choices across various life contexts, indicating a lack of control over their impulses
He disrespects women in general
Listen to how he speaks of his mother, past lovers, female co-workers, and women in general; that is how he truly feels about the gender he professes to be in love with.
If he’s regularly making condescending comments or dismissive jokes about women, maybe it’s exposing something about his deeper prejudices. This type of behavior demonstrates not only a lack of respect but a lack of emotional maturity and empathy.
It’s expressed in little ways at first, like negative comments about women drivers or what they assume women can’t do, but it always grows into a bigger disrespect.
He avoids making plans for the future
Inconsistent men won’t talk about the future, refuse to introduce partners to meaningful people in their lives, and still maintain dating profiles on their phones, even when they’re in an exclusive relationship. The reluctance to commit is often a symptom of an inability to be emotionally open and vulnerable, which is essential for intimate relationships to succeed.
This creates an environment of doubt and fear about the bond, leading the partners to question its validity. With time, this lack of sincere investment undermines confidence in a potential bond and stagnates the emotional connection.
Key takeaways
Dealing with an immature man can be emotionally draining and frustrating, as his lack of accountability often leaves you carrying the weight of responsibilities alone.
Communication tends to suffer since immaturity can show up as defensiveness, sulking, or avoiding serious conversations, making it difficult to resolve issues in a healthy way. Still, these hits to individuals can also extend to impacts on you, your career, your children, and your health.
Good men show steady respect, accountability, emotional maturity, and a sincere desire to grow and be happy together.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice
14 things that label you as ‘uneducated’ on social media
14 Things That Label You as ‘Uneducated’ on Social Media
Welcome to the digital world, a place as intriguing as treacherous, where your online persona can instantly charm or alarm others. In this realm, your social media presence is your calling card, a digital mirror reflecting your thoughts, beliefs, and, perhaps, inadvertently, your level of education. Yet, fear not! This guide is here to help you navigate the vast ocean of social media with grace and wisdom.
16 grocery staples to stock up on before prices spike again
16 Grocery Staples to Stock Up On Before Prices Spike Again
I was in the grocery store the other day, and it hit me—I’m buying the exact same things I always do, but my bill just keeps getting higher. Like, I swear I just blinked, and suddenly eggs are a luxury item. What’s going on?
Inflation, supply-chain delays, and erratic weather conditions have modestly (or, let’s face it, dramatically) pushed the prices of staples ever higher. The USDA reports that food prices climbed an additional 2.9% year over year in May 2025—and that’s after the inflation storm of 2022–2023.
So, if you’ve got room in a pantry, freezer, or even a couple of extra shelves, now might be a good moment to stock up on these staple groceries—before the prices rise later.
