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12 everyday habits that quietly drive people away

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Healthy social relationships form the foundation of both physical and mental well-being.

Our social life has proven to be extremely powerful in shaping us, with a study by U.S. Surgeon General stating that having no social connection is as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Also, as per surveys, nearly half of American adults suffer from measurable levels of loneliness. Some daily habits, which are usually done subconsciously, may be responsible for such social tension and driving people away.

Becoming aware of such habits is the beginning step toward forming stronger, more positive relationships.

Repeatedly Checking Your Phone

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The phenomenon of “phubbing,” or ignoring someone for your phone, is now a common social issue. Research shows that this practice harms relationship satisfaction as it makes the rejected person feel insignificant.

Having a phone sitting on a table, even if it is not being used, can lower the quality level of a conversation and the sense of intimacy between two people. This indicates that the person in front of you is less important than the potential for a digital notification.

Interrupting Others

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Interrupting someone repeatedly sends a powerful message: what I have to say is more important than what you have to say. A habit that stops conversations cold, this can make the other individual feel disrespected and unheard.

Such individuals are often perceived as arrogant or poor listeners, which can lead others to be hesitant about presenting their ideas and feelings freely.

Being a Chronic Complainer

While everyone will at times need to vent, incessant complaining can be exhausting to those around you. Others are drawn to good vibes, and a constant stream of complaining can create a poisonous environment.

This type of behavior can lead to “compassion fatigue” in that loved ones will start to distance themselves to protect their own emotional reserves from the barrage of criticisms.

Read more: The Surprising Superfoods That Boost Energy and Mood

Giving Unsolicited Advice

Fixing the problem right away when someone is simply sharing a problem can come across as disqualifying. Usually, individuals require empathy and an ear, not a solution right off the bat.

Providing unsolicited advice may come across as patronizing, implying that you believe the individual cannot resolve their own issues. It disqualifies them from requiring simple validation and affiliation.

Humblebragging

Self-deprecation, used to counter a brag or as a complaint, is an exceedingly common yet insincere tactic. Harvard Business School research found that humblebragging is less effective than outright bragging, as people perceive it as insincere.

This attitude can make you appear insincere and may foster a sense of competition rather than genuine friendship in your relationships.

One-Up Stories

When a friend shares an experience, immediately countering with a bigger or better story of your own shifts the focus and invalidates their moment. This conversational habit turns a shared experience into a competition.

It prevents genuine connection because the other person doesn’t feel their contribution is valued; instead, it becomes a mere setup for your own tale.

Being Consistently Late

On time is respect. Being consistently late conveys the message that you value your own time more than other people’s time. It aggravates and infuriates, conveying the message to friends and colleagues that they do not matter.

Over time, it erodes trust and places stress on relationships.

Gossiping

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While it may create a fleeting bond, gossiping about others ultimately leads to suspicion. People who witness you speaking negatively about other people will inevitably wonder what they hear when you are not around.

It creates a negative culture and a sense of insecurity, and most of them will keep their distance so that they do not become the next target of gossip.

Not Asking Questions

An exchange has to be two-way. Giving a monologue about yourself without showing interest in others’ lives can make you come across as egotistical.

Preparing thoughtful questions to ask is the minimum way of showing that you care and are interested. Not being interested in people is often interpreted to mean that you lack interest in them as individuals.

Overuse of Sarcasm

Wit is not necessarily bad; a bit of sarcasm can be amusing, but relying on it as your primary communication tool can be isolating. Too much sarcasm can also be used to conceal feelings and create emotional distance.

It can also be easily misunderstood, and others might feel they are being joked about rather than discussed casually.

Not Making Eye Contact

Eye contact is a crucial aspect of non-verbal communication that fosters trust and conveys genuine involvement. Not making eye contact at all or consistently can be interpreted as a sign of a lack of interest, dishonesty, or insecurity.

Others may sense that you are not paying attention or lying to them, which creates a barrier to open communication.

Displaying Inconsistent Behavior

When you are in a moody and unpredictable state and react unpredictably, others around you need to walk on eggshells. This inconsistency is emotionally draining, as your family and friends never know who is going to come out.

As clinical psychologist Dr. Amelia Haynes, who specializes in relationship dynamics, puts it, “Consistency is the bedrock of trust. When people can’t anticipate your emotional reaction, they may pull away to safeguard themselves from psychological whiplash.”

Key Takeaways

Be Present: Take out your phone and give the person who is standing in front of you your full attention.
Listen More, Talk Less: Practice active listening, ask thoughtful questions, and refrain from interrupting or one-upping others’ stories.
Mind Your Words: Avoid excessive complaining, gossip, and sarcasm to foster a better and more trusting culture.
Show Respect: Arriving on time and offering empathy instead of giving unsolicited advice shows respect for others and their feelings.
Work Towards Sincerity: Sincerity trumps humblebragging or emotional inauthenticity. Healthy relationships are based on genuine connection.

Read more: 7 Morning Rituals Women Swear By for More Energy and Confidence

Disclaimer This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.

7 Morning Rituals Women Swear By for More Energy and Confidence

7 Morning Rituals Women Swear By for More Energy and Confidence
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7 Morning Rituals Women Swear By for More Energy and Confidence

Morning rituals don’t have to be complicated. A glass of water, a quick stretch, five minutes with your journal — these small things stack up to create significant change. Women who build these habits aren’t just “morning people”; they’re people who decided to take charge of their first hour of the day.