If you’ve felt lately like the world is getting slightly louder, more casual, and a lot less formal… you’re not imagining it. Across restaurants, workplaces, and even everyday interactions, once unquestioned etiquette norms are now optional or ignored entirely.
A recent Pew Research Center survey found that 81% of U.S. adults believe people today are less polite than 20 years ago, with many pointing directly to younger generations’ changing communication habits.
At the same time, sociologists point out that what appears to be “declining manners” may actually be a shift toward informality and efficiency.
According to Cornell University’s School of Communication, younger adults tend to prioritize authenticity over tradition, which naturally reshapes etiquette. So, which rules are getting tossed aside the fastest?
Former etiquette coaches, hospitality workers, and workplace researchers agree these are the 12 etiquette rules younger generations are letting go of, if gently or with a full-on shove.
Formal greetings and titles (“sir,” “ma’am,” etc.)
Younger adults often skip honorifics entirely. Instead of “Good afternoon, sir,” it’s: “Hey, how’s it going?”
A CNBC study found that Gen Z prefers casual greetings because they feel more equal and less hierarchical.
Older generations may interpret this as disrespect, but for younger adults, it’s simply a more human way of connecting.
Writing “thank-you” notes by hand
Handwritten cards used to be the gold standard of courtesy, but now they’re optional at best. According to the US Postal Service’s Household Diary Study, first-class personal letter usage has dropped by 52% in the last decade.
Younger generations overwhelmingly favor text messages, voice notes, or quick digital thank-yous. For them, speed equals sincerity.
Waiting to speak until spoken to
In previous generations, younger people were expected to speak only after adults initiated conversation. That rule? Gone.
A report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education notes that younger adults value conversational equity and are more likely to participate early, even in group settings. It’s not rudeness, it’s confidence.
Dressing formally in public spaces
From airplane travel to dining out, the dress code has shifted dramatically. Data shows that people under 35 believe comfort is more important than formality, even at traditionally “dressy” venues. Joggers at a steakhouse? For younger generations, it’s Tuesday.
Calling instead of texting
Years ago, “proper etiquette” meant picking up the phone. But not anymore. A BankMyCell communication trends report reveals that 81% of millennials experience phone anxiety, mainly because calls feel intrusive and time-consuming.
If you call without warning, don’t be surprised if it goes straight to voicemail.
Rsvp’ing far in advance
Traditionally, RSVP etiquette required prompt responses, but younger generations tend to live much more spontaneously.
The American Sociological Association notes that shifting work patterns, unpredictable schedules, and economic pressures have contributed to the rise of last-minute planning. Hosts hate it, but the lifestyle shift is fundamental.
Using formal table manners
Think strict posture, specific utensil placement, and proper napkin folds. Younger generations aren’t following those playbooks.
A study found that Gen Z values shared experiences over formal dining rules, prioritizing relaxed environments where everyone feels included. Etiquette is evolving into comfort-first dining.
Never interrupting adults or authority figures
For decades, interrupting was a social sin. But in modern collaborative environments, waiting too long to speak can mean losing your chance entirely.
Research found that younger professionals interrupt more often because workplaces have adopted faster, more fluid communication styles.
It’s less about disrespect and more about staying in the flow of the conversation.
Avoiding sensitive topics at the table
Older etiquette guides forbade discussing politics, money, or mental health in social settings. Younger adults? Not so much.
The American Psychological Association reports that Gen Z is the most open generation when it comes to mental health discussions, and often views avoidance as outdated or inauthentic.
To them, honest conversations build connection even if they get messy.
Sending holiday or birthday cards
Greeting cards used to be essential yearly rituals. Now, many young adults skip them entirely. According to Hallmark’s Consumer Trends analysis, physical card sales have steadily declined, replaced by digital messages and group chats.
It’s not that younger generations care less; they express care differently.
Showing up unannounced was once rude. Now it’s worse
This one has actually intensified. Younger adults are even less tolerant of unexpected visitors. A survey shows that younger adults overwhelmingly prioritize personal boundaries and private time, especially at home. The new rule? “Text before you come always.”
Writing long, formal emails
Traditional workplace etiquette demanded polished emails with proper greetings, closings, and paragraphs.
But according to a report from Slack’s Future of Work study, younger professionals favor short, conversational emails or skipping email entirely in favor of chat platforms. Formality is fading in favor of efficiency.
Final thoughts
Etiquette isn’t disappearing, it’s transforming. Where older generations valued formality, younger generations value authenticity, comfort, equality, and efficiency. And culturally, this shift makes sense.
We’re communicating faster, navigating digital relationships, and living in a world where the line between personal and professional life is thinner than ever. That naturally reshapes what “good manners” look like.
But here’s the critical part: Every generation has its own etiquette, guided by different values.
Younger adults may ignore thank-you notes, avoid phone calls, or dress casually. Still, they’re also more inclusive, more expressive, and more open about mental health and boundaries than any generation before them.
So maybe the question isn’t whether manners are declining; it’s whether they’re simply evolving.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
Disclosure: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
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