Raising a spoiled child is a concern shared by many parents today. In fact, Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing, interviewed more than 1,000 parents and roughly 650 teenagers, and found that 60% of parents thought their kids were spoiled, and 15% of teens felt they fit the bill.
Spoiled children often struggle with problem-solving, responsibility, and emotional maturity, which can lead to long-term difficulties in adulthood. Understanding the signs of spoiling and how to correct them early is important for fostering healthier attitudes and behaviors.
Here are 12 clear signs that you may have raised a spoiled child, along with practical ways to address and fix these behaviors.
They Have A Meltdown If They Don’t Get What They Want
In a school-based sample of 3–5-year-old preschoolers, nearly 1,500 children, accounting for 80%, had at least one tantrum during the past month, and 26% experienced tantrums for a prolonged period.
These eruptions take place across the board, as if all public behavior is undeserving of polite behavior in return. The tantrums are also used as a bargaining tool. In many cases, they win, leaving those parents who cave in feeling as though they’ve been taken advantage of.
They Never Say “Please” or “Thank You”
Common courtesy often fades when children grow accustomed to receiving everything without saying “thank you” or “may I.”
Research shows that kids who consistently neglect these simple pleasantries are more likely to develop a sense of entitlement as they grow into adulthood. Teaching gratitude at an early age can make a lasting difference.
They Won’t Do Age-Appropriate Chores
Spoiled children refuse to help out in the house, thinking someone else will always come to their rescue. According to the Braun Research/Whirlpool Poll (2015), only 28% of parents make their children do chores, despite 82% of parents saying they did chores as children.
Parents often encourage this behavior by doing things themselves instead of requiring their children to participate and take responsibility for chores.
They are Not Empathic towards Others
Emotional intelligence suffers a significant decline in spoiled children; research has shown that kids who exhibit temper, are at a risk of developing anxiety disorder compared to their well-adjusted counterparts.
These kids can understand or be sympathetic to other people’s feelings, but are often more focused on their wants and needs. They are emotionally disconnected from others and struggle to develop close relationships throughout their lives.
They’re Always Comparing What They Have to What Other People Have
The obsession with “stuff” is a trait of a spoiled child, constantly measuring what is owned against what someone else has. According to research published in the Journal of Public Policy & Marketing, youth who exhibit materialistic values tend to have lower self-esteem, an effect that parenting can influence.
Youth are in constant competition with comparison, which fosters chronic dissatisfaction, demanding that purchases need to be newer, better, or more expensive.
They Pretend To Be Powerless Even Though They Can Do It Themselves
Learned helplessness occurs when pampered children realize that pretending to be incompetent (pretending they cannot do something) leads to other people doing everything for them.
Developmental psychologists also reveal that spoiled children often can perform kid-friendly tasks, but frequently avoid doing them in preference to being dependent on others. This habit leads to long-term challenges in self-sufficiency and self-confidence.
They Interrupt Conversations Constantly
Privileged children tend to think their thoughts and needs are more important than any other conversation, and will constantly interrupt. Studies on communication show that indulged children interrupt 65% more often than children who are not spoiled.
This action reveals their worldview, one that prioritizes their own needs over respecting others’ conversations and connections.
They Don’t Take No
Extreme boundary resistance is evident in the spoiled child, who argues, negotiates, or manipulates long after being given a clear ‘No!”. Child behaviorists report that spoiled children try to change the minds of their parents 4.2 times more frequently than their peers.
This pattern sends kids the message that if they badger long enough or manipulate skillfully enough, then rule and authority can be overturned.
They Demand Immediate Gratification
In spoiled children, delayed gratification skills have never had the opportunity to develop because their demands have been met immediately. Children who are spoiled score lower in self-control than their counterparts who were raised with high expectations, according to revised marshmallow studies that attempt to determine the importance of self-control for success.
This impatience results in chronic frustration and bad decisions that permeate all ages.
They are Disrespectful to Authority Figures
Spoiled children don’t limit their fits to their parents; they also act entitled with their teachers, coaches, and other authority figures in their lives. More than 70% of teachers report difficulty managing disruptive behavior in the classroom.
A recent study highlights a significant rise in behavioral issues such as bullying, tantrums, and defiance, both in frequency and intensity. This growing lack of respect can compound academic and social challenges over time, leading to long-term difficulties.
They Never Want to be Held Accountable
Avoiding accountability becomes a hallmark of the spoiled child who blames others for their errors and poor judgments. Studies show that a bratty child admits being responsible for a task 53% less often than the same child who is disciplined adequately.
Such roles prevent them from learning valuable lessons about consequences and personal responsibility.
They Assume They’re Not Like Anyone Else
Spoiled children often expect to be treated differently, whether they’re at a restaurant, school, or even a playdate. Research in the service industry indicates that children who are spoiled are responsible for 2.3 times more incidents of disruptive behavior in public spaces compared to their well-disciplined peers.
This sense of entitlement has created a societal challenge, often leaving family members embarrassed when seeking public services or care.
Key Takeaways
Childhood spoiled-brat behavior can have lasting consequences, often hindering adults in areas such as personal fulfillment, health and nutrition, relationships, and financial stability. Long-term studies tracking these individuals into adulthood reveal that 71% face challenges with authority in the workplace and struggle to navigate social interactions effectively.
This ingrained stubbornness often leads to higher levels of job dissatisfaction and reduced employability. Their resistance to feedback and inability to adapt to standard work environments create significant barriers to professional success.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
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