Can we talk about something that’s been on my mind? You’ve been there: Scrolling through your social feeds, you’ve seen that couple who seems to be perfect together. And then you get word on the grapevine that actually they’re finding it really hard? And what you see when it comes to marriage isn’t necessarily what you get.
According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50% of married couples in the United States get divorced. If I’m really going to be honest with you, that number has really not shifted much.
The really jaw-dropping thing here is that relationship experts say the average couple waits about six years of being unhappy before seeking help. That’s six years of silently wrestling! So if you have been trying to figure out if what you’re dealing with is just everyday relationship hiccups or something more serious, let’s figure it out together.
She Seems to Always Pick on Anything He Does
You know that friend who used to gush about her husband’s quirky habits but now can’t stop complaining about how he loads the dishwasher wrong? Dr John Gottman, an expert on marriage and relationships in general, discovered that a ‘thriving relationship’ requires a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative experiences.
When we start criticizing, it is like arsenic in a relationship, occurring in small doses. She may snap at him about leaving his socks on the floor, badger him about the way he drives, or roll her eyes when he tells a story she has heard, well, once before.
She Emotionally Disappears During Conversations
While he’s sharing his workday, imagine she’s present in body, but somewhere else, calculating grocery lists or scrolling through her phone.
“Stonewalling” is the term therapists use for emotional withdrawal, and it is one of the most reliably destructive, as well as one of the most common, of marital sins. She may respond in monosyllables, refuse to look you in the eye, or even appear downright bored at the prospect of engaging in conversation.
Every Little Disagreement Is World War III
Remember when they’d laugh off stupid arguments about what movie to watch? All of a sudden, picking a restaurant turns into a huge fight that somehow escalates to everything wrong with their relationship.
If you and your spouse are unable to resolve some of these minor issues without escalating into a full-blown fight, it could be a sign that deeper, unresolved emotions are involved, according to the Taylor Counseling Group.
She could suddenly be thinking he’s a dirt-bag for arriving just five minutes late when really she is feeling fury about how many times she hasn’t felt heard or mattered.
She’s Always Frustrated by Things That Used to Be No Big Deal
She used to love his laugh, but now she can’t stand it. The way he chews his food or taps his fingers becomes intolerable.
This dynamic occurs commonly, relationship experts say, when festering resentment has built up over time. She’s not really annoyed about the finger tapping; she’s pissed about feeling un-listened to, uncherished, or disconnected.
Physical and Emotional Intimacy Has Lessened
It’s a complex subject, but one which is critical to address. Intimacy is not solely the result of physical connection; it’s fundamentally about feeling safe and close to your partner in an emotional manner.
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy has stated that insufficient intimacy is one of the most common reasons couples see a counselor.
She might feel like they’re merely roommates rather than partners. Even if they haven’t had a meaningful conversation in weeks, or sexual interactions feel coerced and unnatural. This tends to occur gradually – work anxiety, kids, and life all get in the way. It feels like an emotional and physical chasm that neither of them is making an effort to bridge when they both cease attempting to connect.
She’s Up All Night Looking for Answers Online
Late at night, you find her searching for “indicators of a sad marriage, or browsing relationship advice on social media. Perhaps she’s reading breakup stories or looking up couples therapy.
When she’s typing vicious or cryptic Facebook statements, the internet becomes a haven or a place to seek reassurance from others who are aware of what she’s going through.
Sarcasm and Eye-Rolling Have Turned into Her Go-To Responses
When she responds to their attempts at discussion with scorn, taunting, and a sigh that says, “Here we go again.”. say cruel things about how bad he is, his appearance, or his abilities.
The behavior stems from a sense of pride or some type of goodness, which is often a way of protecting against feeling foolish or weak.
She Feels Totally Emotionally Wiped Out After Your Time Together
Instead of feeling recharged and happy after date nights or quality time together, she feels emotionally drained. Good relationships make us feel more energized and supported, not less.
Couples who are stuck in negative cycles often describe their relationship as “Groundhog Day,”-the same fight, same outcome, no resolution, according to Thrive Couple & Family Counseling Services.
Exerting so much mental and emotional labor to try to keep an ailing relationship alive can take a toll. When we are at social gatherings together, afterward, she might need a few hours alone to recover from the strain of pretending to be okay.
Crucial Conversations Are Exchanged Only as a Last Resort
The bills need to be discussed, but she keeps putting them off. The holiday season becomes a time of trepidation instead of joy. She’s learned that when she brings up big things, there are fights, a shutdown, or, at best, a promise that nothing will change. Avoidance becomes her defense mechanism because connection seems futile or too emotionally dangerous.
Communications expert Dr. Harriet Lerner explains how this dynamic leads to an ever-increasing distance and resentment. The issues you need to talk about don’t go away; they just sit there and fester below the surface. The relationship feels increasingly brittle and disconnected.
Behind the Scenes, She’s Developing an Exit Strategy
This may be the most ominous sign on the list. She’s quietly looking up divorce lawyers, doing math, scanning rental listings in her head, trying to figure out where she’d live if they split up. It is not uncommon, divorce attorneys say, for it to take months or even years for someone to mentally prepare for divorce before even mentioning it to the other spouse.
She might be starting to establish her independence in various ways, such as working, reaching out to old friends, and saving money in a separate account. This is not the same as giving up on the marriage entirely, but it does mean that she is taking care of herself and thinking about the future.
She Feels Invisible and Unappreciated
He steps beyond the spotless kitchen without seeing it. Her new haircut goes unnoticed. The emotional labor she does in organizing their social calendar, their home, and their relationship seems entirely unappreciated.
Dr. Terri Orbuch’s long-term marriage study discovered that feeling appreciated is the most significant predictor of relationship satisfaction. There’s a threshold, in her mind, at which point if she stops feeling seen and praised for her efforts, resentment builds fast. She might dream about being with someone who could call out and appreciate her effort.
She’s Given Up Hope Things Will Ever Improve
Perhaps they’ve attempted couples therapy in the past, but it didn’t work out. Maybe they’ve fought these fights so many times, she can already see how all the conversations will go.
She has lost hope and trust that they can solve their problems. It may look like she’s still faking her marriage, going to work, taking care of the kids, giving her husband a goodbye kiss as he leaves, and coming back home. Still, on the inside, she’s already mourning the death of their relationship.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Marital problems don’t have to signal the end of the story. Most partnerships that suffer from these red flags can be healed with the right help and willpower from both people.
Counseling, open communication, and a genuine willingness to put in the effort to improve can be beneficial. The key is to notice these patterns and take them seriously early, rather than hoping they’ll go away by themselves.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
16 Grocery Staples to Stock Up On Before Prices Spike Again
16 Grocery Staples to Stock Up On Before Prices Spike Again
I was in the grocery store the other day, and it hit me—I’m buying the exact same things I always do, but my bill just keeps getting higher. Like, I swear I just blinked, and suddenly eggs are a luxury item. What’s going on?
Inflation, supply-chain delays, and erratic weather conditions have modestly (or, let’s face it, dramatically) pushed the prices of staples ever higher. The USDA reports that food prices climbed an additional 2.9% year over year in May 2025—and that’s after the inflation storm of 2022–2023.
So, if you’ve got room in a pantry, freezer, or even a couple of extra shelves, now might be a good moment to stock up on these staple groceries—before the prices rise later.
6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
We scoured the Internet to see what people had to say about gas station food. If you think the only things available are wrinkled hot dogs of indeterminate age and day-glow slushies, we’ve got great, tasty news for you. Whether it ends up being part of a regular routine or your only resource on a long car trip, we have the food info you need.
Let’s look at 6 gas stations that folks can’t get enough of and see what they have for you to eat.
