In a 2022 study, the Pew Research Center found that only 69% of married Americans reported being in a committed relationship; of those, many considered themselves truly happy in their marriages. That is, almost one in three wives is presumably just doing the motions, not finding fulfillment.
“Emotional inertia, shared history, and fear of change are common reasons why so many unhappy couples don’t break up,” says marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman, who has spent decades studying relationships and found that “low-level relationship disasters” in unhappy but stable relationships are familiar stories.
The tricky part is that choosing comfort over love doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a slow erosion that can leave women feeling unbreakably tied to relationships that look good on paper but make them feel empty inside.
She’s Lost Her Spark
The fire that once kindled her eye at her partner’s name now burns but as an expiring ember. According to social psychologist Dr. Theresa DiDonato, passion is a powerful predictor of overall relationship satisfaction; however, the sad fact is that many marriages lose the passion they once had over time.
She may go through the motions of affection, the perfunctory peck goodbye, holding hands at the movies, but the fire behind them has dimmed.
Difficult Conversations Get Done the Silent Way
Breaking the subject of money troubles, intimacy issues, or any future plans now feels like treading through a minefield she’d rather not cross at all. Happy wives will tell you that open lines of communication are key to a healthy relationship.
Still, some women tend to avoid these meaningful conversations when it becomes more comfortable to do so. She may then try to change the subject when he attempts to raise his concerns, or she may respond with vague answers that prevent any further serious investigation.
Future Plans Become Solo Adventures
Big life decisions begin taking place with minimal input from her spouse, indicating a move toward autonomy of thought rather than a partnership. Psychiatrist Dr. Barton Goldsmith says that healthy relationships always involve envisioning the future together.
Still, women who prioritize comfort often start to imagine life without their husbands in their long-term aspirations. She might, for instance, book a girls’ vacation without consulting his schedule, or make plans to advance her career without consulting him about the impact on their partnership.
Emotional Walls Go Up
Those deep, hours-long conversations are now replaced with surface-level check-ins about schedules and household matters. Psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein says that couples who possess emotional intelligence have more resilience and experience less constant conflict.
Instead of reserving exciting news or distressing thoughts for her husband, she may share them with friends, establishing an emotional hierarchy that supplants him as her go-to call. The openness that intimacy depends on begins to feel too dangerous when you’re busy guarding your hope from possible disappointment.
Work Becomes Her Safe Haven
Slogging it out in the office till late or jamming all the weekends with something to do all of a sudden seems more exciting than simply spending quiet time in each other’s company in a homely environment.
The American Psychological Association connects congestion to higher emotional distress, and many women unknowingly resort to busyness to shirk dealing with dissatisfaction in relationships.
She may take on extra projects as a volunteer, join several committees, or wholeheartedly pursue a hobby with unwavering enthusiasm. This isn’t a matter of being ambitious or having interests outside of marriage; it’s a question of using external activities to escape the painful reality of what’s missing at home.
Everyone Validates But Him
Compliments from colleagues, attention from friends, or even chitchat with strangers start to feel more fulfilling than conversations with her spouse.
She may notice that she puts more effort into dressing for work events than date nights, or feels more recognized by distant acquaintances than by the person who should best understand her. Interactions on social media or friendships can provide the emotional feedback often lacking at home.
That’s not to say she’s on the prowl for an affair, more like she craves to be seen and appreciated in ways her marriage no longer offers. The contrast between how others make her feel and how her husband makes her feel is glaring and disconcerting.
His Life Becomes Background Noise
His work successes, family troubles, or hobbies of interest no longer register as vital information to be fully considered. According to Dr. John Gottman, repeatedly “turning away” from your partner in such moments will erode trust and connection over time. When he talks about his day, she might nod in distracted “mm-hmm” responses while scrolling her phone rather than asking questions about his day.
The mental energy it would take to keep asking about his inner life seems like work she doesn’t have the capacity for, given that she’s already emotionally worn out.
The Chore of Having Quality Time
The prospect of spending an entire evening together without distraction starts feeling daunting rather than delightful. She could suggest that instead of talking, they watch TV or invite others to join in on what were once activities for two.
“Comfortable silences” may once have felt restful, but now seem awkward, thick with unexpressed anxiety.
Physical Affection Becomes Routine
Hellos and goodbyes aren’t hugs based on longing to touch a partner. Emotional disconnection may be sucking the joy out of the relationship, says Psychology Today, and this can lead to frustration, resentment, and loneliness, even if they still love each other.
During movie nights, she might sit at the other end of the couch or come up with reasons to avoid casual touches, such as holding hands or scratching her back.
Numbness Takes the Place of Both Joy and Frustration
The passions of love relationships that are intoxicating in romantic comedies become flat in real life, leaving the same old aching void in our hearts. Women who tell me they are “stuck” report, over and over, regardless of their external circumstances, lower relationship satisfaction in their relationship surveys.
She may not be furious about issues in the marriage, but then, the good times don’t inspire excitement, either. The shift from intense debate to emotional nothingness can be more alarming than open hostility because it implies disconnection rather than passion.
New Experiences Feel Too Risky
Suggestions to try new restaurants, do things together, and add adventures to the calendar seem to be met with resistance or apathy. Shared adventures continue to be crucial for marital happiness and duration, but many women go for comfort and predictability.
Perhaps she would have always opted for the known over the unknown, which would have potentially brought them closer. The medium is the energy of curiosity and openness she would need to engage with her partner on this level, which is exhausting when the relationship already takes so much out of her to maintain emotionally.
Conflict Becomes a Solo Sport
Arguments cause her to go silent when he speaks or leave the room rather than engaging in resolving conflicts as a team. A 2022 study, available on APA PsycNet, reported that when conflict resolution is approached as solving a problem with cooperation and mutual understanding, this positive perspective on constructive conflict resolution was positively related to marital satisfaction and marital adjustment.
She’s likely thinking, “I’ll never be able to please him. in conflict, not in resolution or understanding. The openness necessary to remain engaged during conflict just feels too dangerous when you are busy protecting yourself from further injury.
Key Takeaway
Comfort in marriage should be like a warm blanket, not a prison cell. The distinction lies in choosing each other every day, rather than assuming or coasting due to habit and convenience.
It’s essential to keep the lines of communication open and remain focused on your relationship, as this will help you avoid getting into a boring pattern. Marriage is work, marriage is a marathon, but the end result of a true partnership… that shit is worth it. So just keep the love alive and keep growing, together as individuals and together as a couple!
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
16 Grocery Staples to Stock Up On Before Prices Spike Again
16 Grocery Staples to Stock Up On Before Prices Spike Again
I was in the grocery store the other day, and it hit me—I’m buying the exact same things I always do, but my bill just keeps getting higher. Like, I swear I just blinked, and suddenly, eggs are a luxury item. What’s going on?
Inflation, supply-chain delays, and erratic weather conditions have modestly (or, let’s face it, dramatically) pushed the prices of staples ever higher. The USDA reports that food prices climbed an additional 2.9% year over year in May 2025—and that’s after the inflation storm of 2022–2023.
So, if you’ve got room in a pantry, freezer, or even a couple of extra shelves, now might be a good moment to stock up on these staple groceries—before the prices rise later.
6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
We scoured the Internet to see what people had to say about gas station food. If you think the only things available are wrinkled hot dogs of indeterminate age and day-glow slushies, we’ve got great, tasty news for you. Whether it ends up being part of a regular routine or your only resource on a long car trip, we have the food info you need.
Let’s look at 6 gas stations that folks can’t get enough of and see what they have for you to eat.
