“Stop telling us to ‘pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.’”
That sentence opened one response in a BuzzFeed Community roundup asking Gen Z and millennial readers what they wished older generations understood, or would stop saying. The answers were blunt, emotional, and sometimes written with the kind of frustration that comes after hearing the same advice for years.
These responses are not a scientific survey or a complete picture of an entire generation. They are personal accounts from younger adults describing a growing disconnect between the advice they often hear and the circumstances they are navigating. Some frustrations are tied to measurable changes in housing, wages, and financial security. Others reflect a deeper shift in how younger generations think about work, relationships, and the traditional markers of adulthood.
Together, the responses reveal a generational conversation less about rejecting advice and more about whether that advice still fits the world people are actually living in.
The Complaints Go Far Beyond Money
Housing and finances may have dominated the conversation, but younger adults also pushed back on expectations around work, mental health, family and personal boundaries.
One respondent on the Buzzfeed community criticized employers and decision-makers who underestimate how much everyday expenses have changed, writing: “I wish older generations, especially those deciding other people’s salaries, educated themselves on the current cost of living.”
Others focused on emotional and cultural differences. An elder millennial described the habit of avoiding difficult conversations as exhausting, saying: “sweeping things under the rug, aka denial, is exhausting and a waste of time.”
Mental health was another major theme in the responses BuzzFeed received. A Gen Z contributor rejected the idea that younger people discuss emotional struggles simply for attention, writing: “we’re not just looking for attention and feeling sorry for ourselves it’s legit an ILLNESS, and it shouldn’t be looked at as something that isn’t serious.”
For some, the issue was not a lack of ambition but a different definition of what a successful life requires.
Related: 10 Alarming Things Older Generations Worry About That Younger Americans Barely Think About
Where Economic Data Backs up the Frustration
Some of the complaints in the comment section reflect measurable differences in financial security between younger and older adults.
The Federal Reserve’s 2025 Survey of Household Economics and Decision making found that 63% of adults ages 18 to 29 said they were doing okay financially or living comfortably, compared with 83% of adults ages 60 and older. The gap had grown by three percentage points for younger adults compared with the previous year.
Housing has become one of the clearest dividing lines. Rising home prices have made ownership more difficult, especially for younger adults with lower incomes.
Renters are feeling that pressure too, as 23% of renters reported falling behind on payments at some point in 2024, compared with 17% in 2021. That helps explain why advice to sacrifice more or work harder can feel frustrating to many younger adults.
The “Nobody Wants To Work” Argument Does Not Match the Data
Two common criticisms of younger generations- that they avoid work and exaggerate mental health struggles- look different when compared with research.
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A Pew Research analysis of government employment data found that young adults were more likely to be employed full-time in 2023 than in 1993, partly because full-time employment among women ages 25 to 34 increased.
The disagreement is not simply whether younger adults want jobs. It is often about what they expect work to provide in return, including financial stability, flexibility, and a reasonable balance with the rest of life.
Mental health concerns also appear in national data. A 2025 Pew survey found adults under 30 were four times as likely as adults 65 and older to describe their mental health as fair or poor, with 36% compared with 9%.
For many younger adults, talking openly about those struggles is not a sign of weakness. It reflects a different understanding of what mental health means.
What the Conversation Is Really Asking For
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The biggest request from younger generations may not be agreement. It may be recognition that circumstances have changed.
Individual comments cannot represent every member of Gen Z or the millennial generation, but they reveal a recurring theme: frustration when people offer old advice without considering new realities.
The disagreements around housing, work, family expectations, and mental health all point toward the same question: what happens when lessons passed down from one generation no longer fully match the challenges facing the next?
The message wasn’t that older generations have nothing valuable to offer. It was a request for conversations that begin with curiosity, not comparison.
Has advice from an older family member ever felt more like pressure than support, and what would you have wanted them to understand instead?
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