The relationship game in the U.S. is changing.
If you’re divorced (or even unsure about remarrying), you’ve probably realized: getting remarried is no longer the automatic choice it once was. It used to be the default move after a split, but now many divorced Americans are saying, “Nah, I’ll pass.”
According to recent statistics from the Pew Research Center, although about two-thirds of people who divorce do remarry, there’s a noticeable downward trend in the number of people choosing to do so.
A profile by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research revealed that the remarriage rate dropped to 24.1 per 1,000 eligible adults in 2022, down from 50 per 1,000 in 1990. So, yeah, fewer exes are walking down the aisle again. Here are 15 reasons why.
Financial realities
The financial base gets shifted when you divorce. According to Pew, the median household income and wealth of divorced adults are lower than those of remarried or first-marriage adults.
So, you might be saying to yourself, “Do I really want to intertwine finances again?” It’s an honest question, especially if you’ve seen the numbers.
Takeaway: Without financial security, marriage feels riskier.
Fear of failing again
Having one marriage end in divorce (or a messy one) means you’ve felt the burn. The BLS data from the NLSY79 further indicate that, despite divorce, only about 62 percent of formerly married people remarried.
The temptation is: “Why go through that again?” Most of them choose to remain single rather than risk another failure.
Takeaway: The “been there, done that” mindset is real.
Changing relationship norms
Marriage isn’t the only route anymore. Living together, sleeping around, and remaining single are becoming increasingly common. Pew notes that the overall share of adults who have ever married dropped from 85% in 1960 to 70% in 2013.
Then, in case you are a divorcee and you are thinking, “Do I need to remarry? Spoiler: No one’s holding you hostage to it.
Takeaway: The social pressure to remarry is weaker.
Age and life stage
Suppose you later get divorced in life, you may wonder; What is the use of remarrying now? Statistics indicate that the remarriage rates decline considerably with age.
For previously married men and women ages 75+, remarriage per 1,000 is very low. Older divorced men and women are usually more concerned with comfort, independence, and no further mergers.
Takeaway: At this point, the desire to start over begins to fade.
Children & blended family complexities
When you’ve got kids, step-kids, exes, custody arrangements, marriage becomes more than just “we two.” It’s a full-on ecosystem. Many people simply don’t want to step into that again.
It is found that nearly 70 percent of remarriages have children from the former relationships.
Takeaway: Avoiding complexity is a strong motivator.
Legal & financial risk aversion
Remarrying would imply that you would be opening yourself to the risk of another divorce in the future; this is more so with second marriages. A report says 60 % of second marriages end in divorce within 10 years.
So, “Why expose myself to risk when I’ve seen that number?” is a fair question.
Takeaway: Some divorced people go “No thanks” to round two.
Emotional trauma & healing time
Divorce has an emotional backlash. Many individuals aren’t ready to dive into another legally-binding relationship until they’ve fully recovered.
According to research on relationships, those who feel strong internal control (marital locus of control) are less likely to break up or remarry hastily.
Takeaway: It is not about speeding up the healing process.
Less pressure from society
In the past, remarriage was almost expected. Now? There’s less judgment if you stay single. According to Pew’s reporting, the rates of adult marriage are down across the board.
You are left to make your own choice of getting remarried or not when society ceases to push you.
Takeaway: The less social pressure, the more freedom.
Cohabitation as an alternative
Some of the divorced people have found it satisfactory to cohabit as unmarried people. It provides a company with no formal obligation.
Pew discovered in 2023 that 15 percent of the divorced women and 19 percent of the divorced men lived with unmarried partners.
Takeaway: Marriage isn’t the only model anymore.
The “been there, done that” mentality
If you’ve already been married and it didn’t work out, you might find yourself thinking, “Why do it again?” According to NLSY79 data, among divorced individuals, only 60-70% remarry, meaning 30-40% choose not to.
This “I know what I’ve signed up for” mentality can make you hesitant to enter a second marriage.
Takeaway: Experience breeds caution.
Financial independence (especially for women)
Women (particularly older women) tend to say they do not wish to relinquish any part of their assets or become housewives to another man. A WSJ profile suggests that many women in their 60s prefer to be free rather than have a new partner.
Takeaway: Independence is winning over marriage for many.
Fear of losing the good life
We keep hearing that marriage makes you complete, but some divorced individuals are already happy when single. They have recreated, formed interests, built social lives, and achieved economic security. Why risk upending that?
One of the older women answered quite frankly: “What is the point?”
Takeaway: If your current life is solid, you might not see the upside of repeating the game.
Conclusion
So there you have it, 12 clear reasons divorced Americans are increasingly skipping remarriage. If you’re reading this and thinking, “Huh, that sounds like me,” then you’re in fine company.
The bottom line is that not remarrying is not a failure. It is a decision, and for most divorced men and women, it is the correct one.
The data confirm that fewer eligible divorced adults are remarrying, the stakes feel higher, and the alternatives look better.
If you’re asking yourself, “Should I marry again?” ask instead: “Do I want this? And does it serve me?” Because that question matters a lot more than the question, “Should I, because people expect it?”
In the end, forging a life that works for you (not just society’s script) is the more decisive move.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
Disclosure line: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
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