We have been creating recipes and publishing them online for well over 20 years and we are happy to say that interactions with the public have mostly been fantastic. We thought we would look at the darker side of posting recipes and household hints online. Darker side, you ask? What could that be?
Well, we reached out to our blogger friends and asked them for the most outrageous, ridiculous, and downright silly comments that they’ve ever received on their blogs. Some of them were actually so disturbing, even threatening bodily harm, that we couldn’t print them here. That’s the sad part. Read on for the humor. We just wish people would actually follow directions – and had better use of their time than to write us to complain…
You Ruined My Sister’s Visit!
I will start with a comment I received years ago from a woman who had made a s’more brownie recipe from one of my books. Apparently she hadn’t seen her sister in six years, and she was coming for a visit. The commenter made the brownies, the marshmallows caught fire, smoke was billowing from her oven, and, and I completely ruined her visit with her sister.
She went on and on about how the visit was totally ruined, and she ended up in tears – and wasted money. FYI there was specific language in the recipe explaining how many inches away the marshmallows should be from the broiler, time cues, and plenty of visual cues, and a warning to keep an eye on the marshmallows. Guess she didn’t read the directions! Want to see if you can make some without burning the house down? Try these One-Bowl Low FODMAP S’Mores Brownies
YOU Gave Me Food Poisoning!
Marvinette told us that she had someone comment that her recipe gave them food poisoning, that they had to go to the hospital where they were asked if they had been anywhere to eat, and the person commented the had made crab soup. The doc told them that had to be it. Apparently, Marvinette was to blame.
I Can’t Read, But You Are Still Responsible
Veronika has an awesome DIY Iced Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso, with exacting directions to add 2 tablespoons of sugar syrup. The recipe for the sugar syrup is separate. People don’t read. That recipe makes 1 cup of sugar syrup. Hence the comment:
“Yo a whole cup of sugar that’s wild.”
Her response: “The syrup makes about 12 servings (or 24 if you only do 2 tablespoons per drink). It’s not all just for one drink.
Veronika even provided a guide for making this copycat Starbucks drink, explaining that a Grande would use 1 to 2 tablespoons, a Vente would use 2 to 3 tablespoons, etc. Come on people. Reading comprehension, and some general common sense would g a long way. Here is her delicious recipe, sweetened perfectly.
“Your Ignorance Is Stunning”…wow
Apparently, Veronika is popular with the nut cases. Her Tuna Cucumber Sandwiches sound absolutely luscious, combining drained, canned tuna, goat cheese, capers, red onion, and chives, with a little hot sauce added. The commenter was so outraged that they commented on the page AND sent her an email as well. Their declaration? “You think that tuna sandwich is healthy? Your ignorance is stunning.” Get the recipe.
Chickens Are Not Vegetarian and Apparently This Needs to be Explained
Marta Rivera Diaz created a lovely “Medicine Bomb Chicken Soup: The Cure In A Bowl.” Who doesn’t like chicken soup when they’re sick? OK, maybe vegetarians, but if that is your thing, why would you be looking at chicken soup recipes? She had a commenter asking if there was a “vegetarian option”. We love Marta for her one word answer: “No.” Here’s her soothing recipe.
You Homestead, I Want To Learn To Homestead, But Maybe I Don’t Actually Know What That Means
Anna Chesley is a homesteader and blogs about that lifestyle. “I had a fellow tell me I was a horrible human being for teaching people to hatch chicks in an incubator. After all, how would I like to be brought into the world with no mother?”
Follow The Recipe – PLEASE!
Lisa Murano has loads of DIY tips. She told us, “I once had a lady comment that she couldn’t figure out why the air freshener recipe didn’t work. It was gelatin-based and called for alcohol, she decided to use salt instead of alcohol and couldn’t figure out why it was moldy.”
If You Don’t Like Lentils, Don’t Make Lentil Nuggets
Rosa Tam has a recipe for Baked Lentil Veggie Nuggets, and one commenter was so over the top, that she didn’t even have to respond, because her fans did it for her! She has so many rave reviews for that particular recipe, that the hater/commenter was on page 5 of comments!
Janet the hater/commeter didn’t like them and gave them 1 star: “these were terrible. I made them exactly as directed – my kid notes they smelled bad while cooking. One child was brave enough to try one and then very politely told me she didn’t like it. Frankly, neither did I. Frustrated that I bought a bag of lentils, other organic ingredients, spent an hour on a weeknight for it all to end up in the trash.”
Now, fans to the rescue!
Joni chimed in: “I hate when that happens! I’m trying to decide if I should try these. Are the ingredients things your family would normally enjoy, or were you experimenting with new flavors? Could they have been ‘saved’ by a dipping sauce (my go to solution)?”
Vilma gave them 5 stars and added a comment: “I don’t typically comment on these things but I tried these and my whole family loved them. Joni if you look at Janet’s comment above, it seems like these are not ingredients her family typically uses and she specifically went out to buy a bag of lentils to make these. If these are not ingredients you typically enjoy, it’s unfair (as is her rude comment) to assume you’d like them mashed together into a nugget form. I say try them Joni (if you like lentils and the veggies called for). Just my two cents!”
Make them and see what you think! Here’s the recipe.
Patrick Bradshaw, Marmalade Contains Sugar
Marie Porter has a gorgeous and delicious recipe for Clementine Marmalade. Commenter Patrick Bradshaw was not happy: “Was this recipe not edited or checked for errors before being allowed to post it? Rather a risky way to handle your type of business isn’t it? I’m speaking about the ingredients calling for 4 POUNDS of sugar!!”
Bear in mind that the recipe makes 10, 8-ounce jars, which contain 120 servings. That is 1.06 tablespoons per serving…Marie said, “The comments were FULL of people shredding him.”
My favorite is: “As for the rude man….. no further comment other than to say that you are an absolute plank….”
Make her marmalade. It’s fantastic.
Your Hard Cookies Were a User Problem, Not A Recipe Problem
Alyssa Bybee has a Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe on her site. She received a comment that made her laugh: “IDK what happened but mine came out SOO HARD. Is it 2 cups and three-quarter cup flour OR 2 separate 3/4s cup?”
We had no problem with these. Here’s the recipe!
Get Your Own Dang Site to Blog!
Natasha Bull’s recipe for Creamy Chicken in White Wine Sauce got hijacked by a wannabe vlogger. Pamela commented: “Won’t use this recipe again. Used 3 breasts, did not add liquid… Sauce still wouldn’t thicken after 8 minutes, cream curdled immediately even though I did a slow pour while mixing, then the sauce separated. Saving grace was tender, free range chicken. If I had cooked it longer, it would have gone tough. I measured everything, which I don’t ever do. My son agreed that my mustard cream sauce was a lot better. You should wait for my YouTube cook with me videos and try that instead. Oh…. Sauce was also rather bland overall.”
We think this dish hits the spot!
Bob Teaches Basics…Folks Need Help
Bob blogs about basics. He has an article about how to tell if a tomato is fresh, or if it has gone bad. He blog’s name is Home Cook Basics, so maybe we should cut the commenter some slack. What do you think? At least they are enthusiastic, and I think they’re upbeat. Actually, we can’t tell.
“thank you so much! I had no idea how long are tomatoes good for! I think I had kept my last beefy tomato in the fridge for like 3 ½ weeks! Quoting Forrest Gump here: ‘stupid is what stupid does’! LOLZ! My tomato is still so pretty! No mold, no fuzzy spots and no old dude wrinkly hands! It is mushy inside, like most tomatoes, and it’s not using juice. But it just doesn’t smell right. I was looking forward to having a big slice of it with my bologna sandwich!!! OMG OMG!! I got a little of the juice on my lips! I washed it off immediately! Can I still get food poisoning from that tiny bit???! I had that sickness like 15 years ago and I was deathly sick. Sorry. CAN’T go thru that again!! So goodbye my beautiful red tomato! Although better the next time! And thanks so much for posting these tomatoes dos and don’ts! Dill pickles, here I come!!”
Carrots Are Not A Substitute For Peaches
Amy Nash might have our favorite comment ever! She has a fantastic Peach Ice Cream on her website, and here is what someone took the time to write: “I don’t like peaches so I substituted carrots. It wasn’t very good. It needs more sweetness.” Amy joked that the commenter still gave the recipe 3 out of 5 stars.
If you want PEACH ice cream, check out the recipe.
Shame On You?
Taryn Scarfone has a recipe for Keto Lemon Pound Cake that has 144, 5-star reviews. Someone named Terri did not have a good experience: “this was awful. I didn’t even cook it for 60 minutes, only 55 minutes, and it was so dry that I literally choked… shame on you”.
Shame? Shame? What does that even mean? Taryn’s favorite part is that several of her fans answered for her, calling out the person for her rudeness.
Pbee Was Upset
Camilla Hawkins has a recipe for One-Pot Minced Beef Hot Pot, and it is one of her most popular recipes, with dozens of 5-star votes. Someone named Pbee didn’t learn not to say anything, if you don’t have something nice to say: “made this recipe tonight absoloutly (sic) diabolical. No taste very very bland had to bin it. Didn’t miss anything out at all. Partner said don’t ever give that to me again and believe me he eats most everything.”
One-Third is Greater Than One-Quarter
Rose blogs at Salt & Sweet and has a recipe for Homemade No-Bake Granola Bars.
Someone named Anna needs some math tutoring: “I found ¼ butter to be a bit too much, I used ⅓ cup and it turned out fine, especially that there is peanut butter too.”
Anna gently responded with a math baking lesson. Here’s the recipe.
Americans Think They Are The Only Ones Who Exist
A recipe for Air Fryer KFC Chicken was developed by Samantha Milner, whose site now offers Imperial and Metric. At the time, an American commenter was upset because of the metric: “This is America, not Europe. Please use American measurments (sic). Were (sic) not mixing pharmaceuticals.” Apparently, they think the Internet is only available in the U.S. and they’re not very good at spelling in English, so we are not sure what to make of this.
Poke Cakes Have Holes! Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Us This?
Jane is upset because Jaclyn’s Poke Cake…wait for it…has holes in it. Jaclyn wants you all to know that the recipe included in-process photos, with the cake having holes poked into it.
Jane: “So made this today and was not happy! Followed the recipe exactly and now I have a lot of holes in my cake! I wasn’t planning on frosting it so it’s a good thing I was only making it for my husband and me. I think you should state that this cake definitely needs to be frosted!!!”
Jaclyn’s response: “holes are part of the nature of poke cakes. Hence the name ‘poke cake’. Frosting the cake is step 5 of the recipe.” Well done, Jaclyn!
Poke away and try this luscious cake!
Oven Fires Are Whose Fault?
Jacklyn also has a recipe for Crazy Cake, which is a classic, moist, chocolate cake. Mason gave it 1 star, with the following comment, complete with typos: “tast likes s**t tast like burnt wood cort oven on fire”
We agree with Jaclyn when she told him, “this sounds like an issue with your oven, not with the recipe”.
Try it and we bet you’ll be fine.
Paul Sinclair: WTH?
Paul went off the rails with his comment to Alexandra Cook. She has a recipe for her tried-and-true great, great grandmothers jam. Here’s Paul: “It sucks. The proportions are so wrong. I doubt anyone is going to boil up .5 of a kilo of fruit. For 10 minutes? Get yourself back to your day job, where you probably also suck, as an interior design consultant – or telling young girls to ‘marry well’.
Leave it to the professionals.
Paul Sinclair BCM
Dip Pro Cook
Alexandra said, “I didn’t bother to reply to Paul to tell him this was my day job.”
And Then There Are Sexy Comments
We will end with a positive vibe. Amy Brinkley says this is a favorite of hers, which was attached to a cookie recipe. She didn’t approve the comment at the time, but now thinks that maybe she should have! (Yes, Amy, 1000 times yes!).
Comment: “Some days after work I make a batch of these and eat them with wine. Then I slowly make love to myself because they were so dang good.”
6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
We scoured the Internet to see what people had to say about gas station food. If you think the only things available are wrinkled hotdogs of indeterminate age, and day-glow slushies, we’ve got great, tasty news for you. Whether it ends up being part of a regular routine, or your only resource on a long car trip, we have the food info you need. Let’s look at 6 gas stations that folks can’t get enough of and see what they have for you to eat. Read 6 Gas Station Chains With Food So Good It’s Worth Driving Out Of Your Way For
18 of the World’s Deadliest Foods: How Many Are You Eating?
Whether you eat to live, or live to eat, let’s make sure you live to see another day! These are some of the world’s deadliest foods. They can bring on extreme symptoms, ranging from paralysis to seizures, choking and even death, so don’t go tucking these into your lunchbox. Click for 18 of the World’s Deadliest Foods: How Many Are You Eating?
10 Of The Worst Tasting Drinks People Pretend To Like
Hold onto your taste buds, because we’re about to embark on a flavor-filled adventure through the realm of beverages! Sure, we all need water to survive, but let’s be real – drinks are so much more than just basic hydration. Recently, the question of which beverages people secretly think taste awful sparked a fiery debate. Boozy elixirs, non-alcoholic refreshments, and everything in between were thrown into the mix. Brace yourself as we unveil the truth behind the drinks we pretend to love. Get ready for a wild ride of taste revelations! Read 10 Of The Worst Tasting Drinks People Pretend To Like
