Imagine this: someone telling you that your memory is bad—even when you are certain you are right. That’s gaslighting, and more people experience it than you’d think. A recent study by the University of Brighton found that individuals aged between 18 and 40 who had been exposed to dating tactics like ghosting and gaslighting registered significantly high rates of depression and paranoia.
Although the term “gaslighting” has become more widely known in recent years, it is still hard for many U.S. adults to define. A prior YouGov survey found that three out of four Americans weren’t entirely sure what it was. Clinicians refer to a form of psychological manipulation in which a person makes another individual doubt his or her own reality, memory, or feelings, using the term gaslighting. Here are 12 ordinary phrases that have an innocent ring—but are far from it.
“You’re overreacting.”
When someone tells you, “You’re overreacting,” they’re downplaying your emotional response and redefining your experience. A reasonable response becomes defined as irrational. That puts you on the defensive and makes you question your emotions. Over time, you begin to doubt saying what you’re actually feeling.
That is the sort of passive invalidation that is textbook gaslighting: bending your emotional truth to the other person’s narrative. The actual words themselves can be harmless, but they whittle away at your ability to trust yourself.
“That never happened.”
Denial is a potent tool. When one says, “That never happened,” they’re telling you that your memory is poor. It can lead you to doubt your own memory or what actually happened over time. Evidence of emotional abuse in relationships shows psychological manipulation like this often outweighs the physical forms of abuse.
Saying “That never happened” is not forgetting—it’s a calculated move to control how it happens and remove your experience.
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re too sensitive” is a phrase meant to redirect blame onto you, not talk about the pain. It suggests that your emotions are the problem and not what created them. You may start withdrawing into yourself, assuming you’re the problem. According to love and abuse, when someone cares about you, they don’t say things like “you’re too sensitive”. They actually become more sensitive to your sensitivities.
This sentence also means the other person is not going to work with what you said. Knowing it is a first step towards reclaiming your voice.
“You always make everything about you.”
This sentence deflects responsibility and turns the narrative around. When you are accused of “always making everything about you,” the perpetrator implies that having an opinion is the problem.
It quietly brushes off your concerns and diverts attention from what they did. You’re left guilty of having an opinion. That guilt is the silent wake of manipulation. The sentence isn’t only impolite—it’s a calculated attempt at keeping you quieter.
“You’re imagining things.”
“You’re imagining things” undermines your perception of reality. It warps your ability to believe what you saw, heard, or experienced. Your internal compass gets rattled after a while—you are left thinking, “Did I? Maybe I did?” This is precisely what the gaslighters want.
They want your anchor of reality to shift. And once the anchor has shifted, they steer the ship.
“I was just joking.”
When a person replies to a hurtful comment with the words, “I was just joking,” they are dismissing your emotions and evading responsibility. According to a 2024 ResearchGate study, researchers conducted on 154 young adults, there was a definite correlation between exposure to manipulative behaviours, including gaslighting behaviours, and increased anxiety and reduced self-esteem.
It implies that even remarks that are dismissible as a mere joke can cause some quantifiable harm to the psyche. You may begin to suspect that you are being oversensitive when, in fact, the behaviour is part of a pattern. This sentence conceals the harm in a dry phrase, making it difficult to call out. Being aware of it is a way of realizing that humour is weaponized. You are back in your right to hurt the world with no apology when you find the shift.
“You’re remembering it wrong.”
“You’re remembering it wrong” is a sentence that warps the past in the now. It demolishes your memory. It plants the seed of doubt. And once the seed takes hold, your faith in your memory is gone.
Scholars of gaslighting note how such strategies erode a person’s sense of reality. This sentence is not only incorrect—it’s autocratic.
“Everyone agrees with me.”
This is a false consensus used to isolate you and undermine your confidence. In one SAGE journals study, increased exposure to gaslighting led to increased depression and worse quality of relationships, even when other types of intimate partner violence were controlled.
That is to say that when a person says that everybody is with them, they are engaging in a well-documented manipulative device. Soon you start feeling lonely and question your vision of truth. It is that change that manipulative people enjoy. Identifying the phrase is one such step to keep your own voice and keep the isolation back.
“You’re being dramatic.”
When somebody says to you that you are dramatic, they render your authentic emotions as an exaggeration. Such words are not insults; they are a way of holding you down.
You can start minimizing your feelings to escape the label. The further this distance is carried, the more you may disregard your own emotional reactions.
“You’re crazy.”
Bare-faced and blunt, this phrase assaults your sanity. When somebody says “crazy” to you, they aim to delegitimise you completely. Survey data from YouGov show that approximately one-third of females and approximately one-quarter of males (24 percent) were called crazy or something similar by one of their romantic partners as a form of psychological abuse. It’s an effective silencing tactic.
Emotional abuse tactics like these can send anxiety, depression, and doubt about yourself into overdrive. This phrase doesn’t just sting—it wounds your trust.
“You’re twisting my words.”
“‘You’re twisting my words” deflects the blame. When you correct somebody, they accuse you of distorting what they meant. They try to become the victim of mishearing.
That brings you up short. Did I misunderstand? I may have misunderstood. The doubt insinuates itself. And with that doubt, their control tightens.
“‘You made me do this.”
You made me do this” is the classic old-timer deflection of blame, according to Verywell Mind. The manipulator forces you into the role of being the cause of their behavior—no matter how painful or abusive.
That gets you undeserved guilt. And the manipulator gets clean hands. Remembering this catchphrase reminds you how to reclaim your boundaries and refuse the undeserved blame.
Key takeaway
Gaslighting is disguised by sentences that sound harmless but disempower your truth, self-worth, and confidence in yourself. By noticing statements such as “You’re too sensitive,” “That never happened,” and “You made me do this,” you can identify manipulation patterns early.
These tricks deflect responsibility, distort reality, isolate you, and mute your voice. When you notice them, you reclaim your narrative. These behaviors disempower your truth. You speak your truth. You maintain your mental health safety.
Disclosure –This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
Disclaimer: It is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.
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